I can completely and 100% relate (at the moment as well, I have to do all this paperwork for my internship in München and my god I’m freaking out as well). It’s really because getting all the paperwork is done is the hardest thing to do, no seriously, forget all the homesickness I had in Vienna, forget the fact I lost most of my friends back home… the worst thing was the paperwork. I’m just saying this because the actual experience of studying abroad when the paperwork is behind you is entirely less frustrating.
It’s simply.. You don’t know where to start, what to do, what you need to hand in and when (the deadline you’ve mentioned is one I had as well - I had to get everything done within a week because the deadline had been wrongly communicated, thanks guys!) and there’s just so much of it and a million and one rules… yes, that’s definitely true. And of course studying abroad is a risk, but it’s worth a try, right? If it doesn’t work out, then at least you’ve tried and won’t think back to your uni years later and think “oh, maybe I should’ve gone abroad after all”. You mentioned before you wanted to go, it’s worth a shot! You’ll get to meet entirely different people, a different culture, a different uni system. And I won’t lie to you and say everything’s going to be magically better when you go away (you know my time away was pretty shit sometimes, but isn’t that just the way of life as well?), but there will be moments that make it worth it, and you learn to take care of yourself. There’s no other choice, you’ll mature somehow if you want to make it through. And you can totally do it! You may not think so right now, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
I know how anxious you are, it’s super scary to go away and be all on your own, but in the end there’s a lot to learn and experience. Most of my friends have had nothing but fantastic experiences abroad, I have friends who really came into their own while being abroad and the same could happen for you! Same goes for uni and classes: you’ll be able to take interesting new classes and learn new things to love (or not love)! You’ll get to see many new things! The paperwork’s a bitch, really annoying, frustrating. (I wish I could help you but I don’t think our school systems are compatible. If you wish, I could probably dig up my motivation letter from somewhere though?) But in the end it’s just a small part of the experience, and it’d be sad if that’d stop you from going :( If you really feel you’re not ready to go, that’s a different reason entirely - but try not to not let the paperwork stop you. Ask for help. There’s probably someone who can help you with it. I’ve cursed a lot at our International Office, but they were willing to help out and answer questions. I hope the same goes for yours.
I wish you luck sweetheart. *hugs* If you have any questions you think I might be able to answer, don’t hestitate to ask, okay?
Let me end this with a Kdrama quote, that seems relevant: “If you don’t give up on yourself, no one else can. You have to believe you’re precious.” You can make the right choice, love. Hwaiting!!!
i’m crying. everything about you is beautiful
i wish you the best for your internship <3
(i’ll send you a more elaborate private message later, i just wanted to thank you first bb *hug*)